One of the days, I came across an article on CNA Lifestyle on how the writer went through a ‘life-changing’ 10-day silent meditation camp in Singapore. I was no stranger to meditation retreats as I did one sometime back in Chiangmai pre-pandemic. Hence, I was like, “Hmmm…. OK, Maybe I should give this a shot too.”
I clicked onto the link in the article and saw that there weren’t any available retreats in Singapore (back then) and it was unknown when the retreats would resume (in Singapore), since we were still in the infant stages of COVID-19-recovery. There was one in Johor, Saleng though and I decided to sign up for that.
Applications for the course were open one month prior to the retreat. The previous retreats had remarks such as “Women – Filling Up, Men – Closed” etc. Wowww… The course must be really good and popular and hence, in such a high demand! I decided to apply on the first day when they opened up for applications.
There was a long list of rules and regulations, such as not being able to use the phone for 10 days, not having meals after 12 noon, abiding by the 5 precepts, meditating for long hours etc. There was no leaving of the premise once we signed on the dotted line and this was reiterated again and again. I thought I knew what I was in for, but the reality was far harsher than I had imagined.
Check-in Day: 19 Oct 2022, Wednesday
D-day came and I took a train from Singapore Woodlands to Malaysia, Johor Bahru.
I had a sumptuous lunch at City Square Din Tai Fung before I headed over to the bus terminal below JB CIQ to take a bus to Saleng. I boarded the bus from Platform 9 at about 1:30pm. The fare costs RM3.10. As I was unsure where to alight, I sat right behind the bus driver and got him to alert me once we arrived at Saleng Petronas / TJ Mart.
Halfway through the journey, a young lady boarded the bus and sat next to me. She too asked the driver to alert her once we got to Saleng. Seeing her big backpack, I asked if she was heading to the same meditation retreat that I was going, and yes, she was! Ohh great, I’ve got company. Haahaa….
At about 2:05pm, we arrived at Saleng, got off the bus and headed for the KFC outlet where we were instructed to wait.
We bumped into 2 other participants whilst waiting for the pick up at the carpark near KFC. But come 2:45pm, there was still no sign of the pickup, and hence, we decided to book a Grab to the center instead since there were 4 of us. I think the Grab fare costs about RM5 or so.
It took us about 15 minutes to get to the Saleng Meditation Centre on a rustic countryside path. Upon arrival at the centre, we had to do a swab test (again) to ensure that we were free of COVID-19 before we could proceed with the course.
We did a check-in at the dining hall, where we had to surrender our mobile phones. Henceforth, for the next 10 days, there will be no phonecalls, no Whatsapps, no Teams messages, no emails, no Facebook, no Instagram, no Tik Tok, no alarm, no flash light etc. For the alarm, I actually bought and brought a physical alarm clock for the stay. I brought along my bike light to be used as a night light as well. (All images here were shot either upon checking in, or after we checked out on the last day.)
We were assigned a number each. I was allocated F15 and this number dictated my seat at the dining hall and the bed. The female dorm was on the second level above the dining hall. There were 5 rooms, with an average of 4 to 6 beds/mattresses per room. There were only 2 bathrooms in this upper level to cater to the 28 ladies.
Climbing up and down the bungalow a few times a day. 
The upper level of the bungalow was able to accommodate up to 28 ladies. 
This is a room for 4 ladies. There were no beds in this room. Some of the rooms were equipped with beds whilst some were equipped with mattresses. 
Another 4 ladies for the second room. 
The ‘room’ that I was in. It wasn’t exactly a room per se, as it was more like a dining hall for the upper level. 
Brought my queen size bed linen to lay on the single size mattress and used the remaining fabric as a blanket when the nights got chilly.
We were provided a set of cutleries each and this set of cutleries would be our only friend for the next 10 days.
I managed to chat a little with my table of 3 ladies before we started our 10 days of silence. One of them was a return student, one was an elderly lady in her 70s, and the other lady was a secretary in a property firm. We did a short meditation session from 6pm to 7pm and then a discourse before we had the lights out at 9:30pm. We would be starting the program proper the following day.
Day 1: 20 Oct 2022, Thursday
4:30am to 7am
As the morning bell would go off at 4am, and everyone would be rushing to use the 2 bathrooms that we had at the upper level, I decided to drag myself out of bed at 3:30am to wash up instead.
Come 4:30am, most participants would depart the dorm and head for the meditation hall although it was indicated as “Meditation in hall or dorm.”
We started the meditation at about 4:35am and we were taught to focus on OBSERVING OUR BREATHING; observe the air going in through the nostrils and the air going out. We were not allowed to have any imageries, chanting or counting of breath whilst doing the meditation. We were only allowed to OBSERVE and do nothing else. It was extremely difficult just observing the breathing without counting or verbalising “In, Out, In, Out” etc.
In less than 1 minute of observation, my monkey brain was already all over the place; thinking how hungry I was, how early 4:30am was etc. Before long, I started dozing off whilst seated in the meditation posture. My feet started to get numb, heavy and painful with pins and needles. It was sheer “torture”. We sat for about 1 hour before the bell went off. Omg… that was the longest 1 hour I’ve ever had in my entire life. We had a short 5 minutes toilet break to stretch out the legs before the next 1 hour meditation began.
We did another 1 hour of meditation from 5:30am to 6:30am. It did not get any easier. Every single second felt like an eternity. I was really happy when the bell went off at 6:30am, which meant breakfast time! I was feeling super hungry as the last meal that we had was at 5pm the day prior.
We headed for the dining area and queued up (like a buffet line) to get our breakfast. Breakfast was pretty sumptuous. There was bee hoon, porridge, three to four dishes and fruits on the main table. At the side table, there was butter, jam and even Nutella where you can spread onto the (toasted)/bread. There was also coffee, tea, milo, hot and cold water.
After breakfast at about 7am, most of us would hurry back to our dorm to catch a few winks before the 8am meditation starts again.
8am to 11am
At 8am, the bell went off and we were back to the meditation hall for another 1 hour of group meditation, from 8am to 9am. From 9am to 11am, it was meditation in hall or dorm, though most would continue to stay in the hall.
At 11am, the bell went off and it was time for lunch! Yayyy…. It was one of my favorite times of the day. Similar to the breakfast, it was a buffet line and we actually had new, freshly cooked 5 or 6 items (different from what we had for breakfast!). I was really thankful to the few motherly ladies who toiled from 5am to 12 noon to prepare the yummy and healthy vegetarian meals for us.
One of the days, I realised that the motherly ladies actually had their meals after we had ours, consuming only the ‘left-overs’ after the students returned to the dorm. Usually at the end of the meal, most of the popular dishes were already wiped out and the motherly ladies only had rice with maybe one or two dishes. When I witnessed that, my heart sank. I was really touched and grateful for their big and generous hearts, having so little for themselves and giving us so much, happily and unconditionally.
After lunch, some students will go for their showers whilst others went back to the dorm to rest.
1pm to 5pm
At 1pm, the bell went off and it was time to head back to the meditation hall. We meditated, meditated, and meditated from 1pm to 2pm to 3pm to 4pm and to 5pm. It was almost 4 hours of meditation with a 5-minutes break every hour. My knees got so stiff and painful. I was fidgetty and tried to stretch my legs and twitched my body to relieve the pains and aches. I tried to peep to see if anyone else was like me, but everyone seemed to be sitting upright and staying focused. I began to wonder why did I sign up for this.
At 5pm, we headed for the dining hall. For the first-time students, we were allowed to have one / two slices of fruits, whist the return students were not allowed to consume any fruits, in line with the 8 precepts of not having any meals after 12 noon.
6pm to 9pm
After the quick snack, we headed back to the dorm to rest. At 6pm, the bell went off and back to the meditation hall we went. We did a 1 hour meditation and at 7pm, we had a discourse session. Some of the students who preferred the Mandarin version had to leave and attend the session in the next hall. The Mandarin discourse session was an audio playback, translated into Mandarin from the original video playback in English.
The English discourse session was a video recording by the founder Mr SN Goenka. It was like a debrief session. The discourse really resonated with what we were experiencing, and most of all, he had such a great sense of humour bringing out the concepts and practice. It became my favourite part of the day, for the fact that it was the end of the day as well as the content was really close to heart and hilarious.
Day 2: 21 Oct 2022, Friday
We had the same routine for the second day. Meditate, breakfast, meditate, lunch, meditate, snack, meditate, discourse… At this point, my knees were almost stiff with pain. I even contemplated to inform the management that I had contracted COVID-19, so that I could “escape” and be released from the retreat.
During the second day’s discourse, Mr SN Goenka related his first experience at a 10-day retreat with his teacher. At the end of the second day, he (too!) found that the course was too difficult, and went to pack his bags and wanted to leave the centre. His teacher asked him why did he want to leave, as he was doing very well and as it was only the second day, he has yet to experience any benefits from the sessions. He said it was way too difficult. Oh my god… That was exactly what I felt too, and I, too wanted to escape the centre exactly like what he did!
With that, I gritted my teeth and persevered on.
Day 4: 23 Oct 2023, Sunday
On day 4, we started to learn observation of the SENSATIONS. Now, this was getting more difficult. We had to scan the entire body from the head to the toe, part by part, for sensations that were in the body. It sounded easy, but it wasn’t so in reality.
As like the previous days, I would try my best to stay focus and to scan the body parts. I started from the head and as much as I tried, I usually do not get to the feet, cos my monkey brain would have wandered far away by then or I would have fallen asleep (again!).
Subsequently for the days down the road, there were some sessions which I managed to keep my focus for a slightly longer period (maybe a good 15 to 30 minutes), but I never once did manage to stay focused for a full 1 hour. Many times, I even wondered if the teacher had forgotten about us, or if the bell had spoilt and wondered why did the bell not go off. Haahaa…
Vipassana meditation in theory is to see things are they really are. It is secular and not associated with any religions or sects, as its main focus is observing one’s own breathing and sensations. By focusing on our own breathing, we increase our power of concentration, which in turn helps us in our daily lives, working lives and everyday activities.
By observing our own sensations and understanding the fact that these sensations will arise and pass away, we will ignore these sensations and over time, eliminate them. The aches and pains in my legs were excruciating, but at times (few and rare), when I kept my focus on my breathing and ignored them, the pains and aches slowly eroded away, without me realising! Understanding the fact that sensations will come and go, we will not be easily triggered by sensations; be it anger, a craving, a pain, happiness or an unhappiness. It is in fact an art of living, where we become at peace with one’s self.
This technique was taught in the prisons for the last 25 years. During one of the discourse, we saw the video of inmates beaming with happiness after their 10 days course. Many of them seemed to have found the solace and peace that they really needed deep down.
Seconds turn to minutes, minutes to hour and hour to days. And finally, after a few days of ‘intense struggle’ to ‘ignore’ the sensations, I finally got to Day 10…!!
Day 10: 29 Oct 2023, Saturday
After the discourse on Day 10, we were finally able to speak to each other again and shared what each of us experienced in the last 10 days. One of the ladies mentioned that she experienced a gush of energy that flowed from head to toe, exactly as like what was depicted in one of the discourses.
The lady who sat directly opposite me suddenly burst into tears one of the days. As we couldn’t speak then, we just let her be and gave her the space she needed. When we “regained our speech”, we asked her what happened. She said she had no idea either. Her tears just started flowing out of the blue.
For myself, I tried as hard as I could to stay still and focused all those sessions. I didn’t manage to achieve the gush of energy flow or peace that I had very much wanted, but I was impressed with my own perseverance and determination to have sat through the 10 days x 10 hours of meditation!
Checkout day: 30 Oct 2022, Sunday
We had our last morning meditation session from 4:30am to 5:30am and our last discourse from 5:30am to 6:30am. We got back our phones at 6:30am and I started shooting away, trying to capture as many pics as I could before our dismissal.
Signage at the dining hall. 
This is the only ‘scenery’ that we see everyday, observing and counting the lotuses, fishes, frogs etc… 
An aerial view of the pond from the second level of the bungalow. 
Our laundry hanging area on the second level of the bungalow. 
Bags packed, area cleaning done. Time to balek kampung… 
Had a beautiful sunrise on our last day, just as we were leaving the centre.
We had a bun for breakfast as all cutleries had been kept away the night prior (except for mine, which I had left it on the table so that I could get a pic of it). After a quick breakfast, we were split into groups to perform our area cleaning duties.
I did up the area cleaning and hitched a ride out with the female co-ordinator at 7:30am, as she was rushing to catch the 8:30am train back to Singapore.
By 8am, I had arrived at JB Sentral, where I spent the day in JB, before catching the train back to Singapore in the evening.
DAILY SCHEDULE
4:00am : Morning Bell goes off
4:30am to 6:30am : Meditation in hall or dorm (2 hrs)
6:30am to 8:00am : Breakfast. Rest / Shower
8:00am to 9:00am : Group meditation in hall (1 hr)
9:00am to 11:00am : Meditation in hall or dorm (2 hrs)
11:00am to 11:30am : Lunch
12:00nn to 1:00pm : Seeking advice from teacher (optional). Rest / Shower
1:00pm to 2:30pm : Meditation in hall or dorm (1.5 hrs)
2:30pm to 3:30pm : Group meditation in hall (1 hr)
3:30pm to 5:00pm : Meditation in hall or dorm (1.5 hrs)
5:00pm to 5:30pm : Snack / Fruits for first-time students
5:30pm to 6:00pm : Rest / Shower
6:00pm to 7:00pm : Group meditation in hall (1 hr)
7:00pm to 8:15pm : Discourse
8:15pm to 9:00pm : Group meditation in hall (45 mins)
9:00pm to 9:30pm : Seeking advice from teacher (optional). Rest / Shower / Wash-up
10:00pm : Lights out
TOTAL MEDITATION HOURS PER DAY: 10 HOURS 45 MINUTES
Would I do it again? Perhaps…
It was tough no doubt, but I would say that it was really a good training for the mind and body. Not being able to speak for 10 days was one of the easiest commandments. Not having meals after 12 noon came relatively easy for me too. It was a little challenging not being able to communicate with family and friends and to be kept up to date of what had happened, but it was still bearable.
The number 1 killer (for me!) was trying to keep the body and mind focused and to ignore the many sensations in the body and legs – without dozing off. Maybe it might get better with more practice at home on my own. But to me, this was really a test of one’s own perseverance and determination to ‘survive’ through these 10 days, and I’m so glad I did it.
There are more than 200 Vipassana meditation centres all around the world and there are no charges for the course, not even to cover for the cost of food and accommodation. They run purely on a donation basis, by participants who have benefitted from the course and would wish to give others the opportunity to do so.
For those that are up for the challenge to train the body and mind and to learn the art of living, I would strongly encourage you to give this a go. I didn’t think I could do it after day 1, but YESSSS…. I ‘survived’ to tell my tale. And I’m sure you can too…. 🙂
霞女之旅 
